BY ANNE HENDERSHOTT

Life has become so much easier for our family during the past five weeks! I say that with some surprise actually because I never thought I would admit that! Having been the primary at-home care giver of my mother-in-law, Katharine Hendershott for the past two years, I never thought our family’s lives would be "simple" again. From the day she moved into our Mission Hills home in May, 1995, it has been a constant struggle dealing with the symptoms of her alzheimer’s Disease. My husband, our twelve year old son, and I have been challenged with keeping her environment safe and trying to keep her happy and occupied. Fortunately for all of us, the sweet disposition she had throughout her life has continued even through the progression of the Alzheimer’s Disease that she has experienced for the past eight years.

Despite her cheery disposition, Katharine wants to be "busy" constantly. She has never been one to be content to "sit and watch"...she wants to be involved. In our home, that presents serious challenges because of the limitations of her disease. Neurological impairments from the disease have affected her ability to walk unassisted, and she can no longer do the beautiful needlepoint she used to do. She is no longer able to read, and will not sit and listen to music. Television frightens her because of the "reality" of it. Needless to say, we were all running out of ideas to keep her busy!

St. Paul’s Community Day Care has filled this important need for us beyond our every expectation. Katharine has been attending the Day Care Center for the past five weeks and I can truly say that the Center has changed our lives! Each morning at 7 am when I drive into the parking lot of the Center and she sees the playground equipment, she smiles in anticipation of the children who will soon be playing on the equipment. While she remembers little of the actual experiences of the day, the good feelings that she gets from the hugs and attention of the children remain with her throughout the evening and even into the next day. Her attitude is so much more positive and she has been sleeping better than she has slept in years.

Last Friday afternoon when I arrived at 4 pm to pick her up, she was sitting in the beautiful living room of the Center with one child sitting beside her on the floral couch and a toddler standing at her knee. She was surrounded by staff from the children’s center and the senior program and -- she was smiling. When she saw me arrive, she looked at me with the most beautifully happy eyes. At that moment, I realized that I had not seen that level of happiness in her eyes in nearly a decade--since the Alzheimer’s Disease seemed to take away her capacity for happiness. When she saw me, she said "just look at these beautiful children... Can you believe this?" I realized that I couldn’t believe it.. .1 had not thought that she could again be truly engaged in life. The children and the staff at St. Paul’s have brought so much to our family--far beyond the practical "taking care of physical needs" that they perform. Certainly, I am grateful to them for opening early enough so that I can teach my early classes at the University of San Diego--but, more importantly, I am grateful to the staff and the children at St. Paul’s for helping to fill the spiritual needs for validation, love and affection.

Anne Hendershott, Ph.D. is Chair of the Department of Sociology at the University of San Diego. She lives in Mission Hills with her husband Dana, her son Jonathan, and her mother-in-law. Katharine Hendershott-a participant in the Intergenerational Day Care Center Program.